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Talking to Boys About Puberty

I get asked this question all the time. If you have asked me this question, I want to thank you for being concerned and involved in your son's journey to a healthy and shame-free life. Being proactive takes a lot of effort, and stepping out of your comfort zone can be daunting, but you are doing it!

Have "The Talk" with Your Partner

First things first, you need to have “the talk” with your partner. In order to have the best outcome, you need to be on the same page with your partner regarding the message you are going to be delivering to your kids. If you have never had a conversation, now is the perfect time! 

Schedule a Dedicated Time

When choosing a time for a discussion, consider external distractions, energy levels, time availability, and emotional state. Creating a conducive environment promotes focused attention, active listening, and open dialogue for more effective communication.

Make a List of Discussion Points

Consider each other's comfort levels in delivering this message. It's ideal for both of you to get comfortable talking about sexual health with your kids, but take baby steps if necessary.

Doing Laundry

By the time your son starts having nocturnal emissions (wet dreams), they should be old enough to start learning how to do laundry. If they don’t know how to wash their sheets, it’s time to teach them. This is a life skill they need regardless of puberty, so take this opportunity to lighten your load!

There is Nothing Wrong with You

Wet dreams happen. They are completely normal. In fact, having wet dreams is proof that your body is functioning the way it should. This is your moment to shine and become a sex educator! If you haven’t already,  this is the time to introduce terms such as ejaculation, sperm, and scrotum to your son.  In order for them to be prepared,  it is a good idea to explain what semen may look like (depending on how long it has been drying).  The more information he has,  the less shame and embarrassment he will feel.  If he asks you a question and you don’t know the answer,  be honest and curious.  Try not to be dismissive.  It can be very easy to get overwhelmed when your child has a million questions.  I want to reassure you that you are doing a great job!

Utilize Resources

Consider using books or online resources with diagrams and visual aids to facilitate the conversation. Sometimes diagrams and visual aids go a LONG way when you’re talking to kids.  Head over to the “BOOKS” section of and check out my go tos for sex Ed.

Remember, this conversation is an essential part of your son's development and contributes to creating a healthy attitude towards sexuality and bodily changes. Keep the lines of communication open and provide a safe space for your son to ask questions and express any concerns.

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